100% Medically Accurate!

I didn't have high expectations going into Tom Six's "The Human Centipede". The trailer seemed to give away the film's macabre punch line. I figured it would be your run-of-the-mill low budget, poorly-acted, unintentionally hilarious horror film, albeit one with a novel but thoroughly demented premise. After viewing the film, I was shocked for a number of reasons.

Herr Doktor

Foremost, it's actually a decent and for a few stretches good movie. German actor Dieter Laser anchors the film with his portrayal of the Mengele-like Dr. Heiter. In every scene his lunacy percolates under the surface like a fever. From his unblinking gaze to his slow and deliberate movements, his demeanor screams "I am not sane." Well that and his fetish for stitching mammals together via their gastro-intestinal tracts.

As ripe for pornographic exploitation as the film's premise is, I was happily surprised at how restrained the film turned out to be. There is blood and viscera, but the film never crosses into "Two Girls, One Cup"-level scatological licentiousness. In fact, the one scene where the logistics of the "human centipede" are depicted, any revulsion is generated from the viewer's own imagination. But that seems to be the lesson that most good horror moviemakers have learned: what I conjure in my head whether in anticipation or as it happens is infinitely scarier and more disturbing than what you can show me on-screen.

I've seen some reviews categorize the film as "torture porn," along the lines of Eli Roth's "Hostel" or any number of chop-the-girl-up-in-creative-ways flicks that have come into fashion lately. I'd disagree that "The Human Centipede" falls into this category. There is misogyny, fetishism of violence and a general nihilistic misanthropy-thing going on, but these all seem like expressions of the antagonist's insanity than a cynical ploy from the director. Director Tom Six seems more interested in ramping up the anxiety in his audience to unbearable levels and for the most part he succeeds.

The movie starts out in typical genre fashion with two girls stranded in the woods who come across an eccentric loner. There is subtle humor in the opening scenes. It stems from the soon-to-be-victims being utterly unperceptive to the signals that their host is unbalanced. Six does a good job of disarming the viewer here. The tonal shift is jarring after herr doctor captures his prey and the audience finds itself on edge from there on out.

Six then proceeds to guide us through some heretofore unrevealed circle of Hell and strands us there. The post-modern austerity of Dr. Heiter's home makes for a perfect mousetrap with its seemingly endless identical doors and antiseptic white walls. The audience is left feeling perpetually mortified and helpless as our protagonists try their best to persevere their collective nightmare. Don't look for a ladder at the end either.

Trust me. You don't wanna know.

The films biggest missteps are the leaps in logic that the characters undertake which many horror films succumb to; at a few pivotal junctures, the characters behave in a way that blinkers reason in order to advance the plot (sort of like how lazy rom-com screenwriters rely on the "big misunderstanding" almost without fail in the second act). This dunderheadedness doesn't break the film, but it does detract from what is otherwise a well-crafted psychological torture film.

The film is subtitled "First Sequence" and according to IMDB, the sequel will be out next year. I can't imagine revisiting the universe that director Tom Six has created with this film and most likely won't. However, this one will earn (well-deserved) cult status and will probably be a midnight staple at art houses for years to come. I'm not sure what conclusions one should draw about humanity from this.

(P.S. - I am don't know what's more shocking about this film: the fact that director Tom Six conceived the idea of surgically chaining humans together like linking logs or that nobody thought of it before.)

Movie Recommendation of the Week

THIS MOVIE WILL EFF YOU UP FOR LIFE! Sorry, I always loved that tag-line. It's from one of the gonzo adverts in the under-appreciated Dudley Moore vehicle Crazy People. I became curious to see this film after I got wind of its unconventional promotional campaign. The website asked fans to demand the movie get distribution in their town via an on-line petition. I bit and lo and behold the movie got itself into regular rotation at a few theaters.

I can say that clicking through the petition's links was time well spent. The film is a gem. I applaud the director Oren Peli on performing a remarkable feat of guerilla filmmaking.

The story behind this film is almost as good as the movie itself. Shot for a ridiculously miniscule amount of money ($15K), director/writer Oren Peli made the film in his own house over a one week period (plus a year of prepping his house for the shoot). Peli also had no formal film school training (according to wikipedia). I'll just copy and paste the rest of the story from the wiki:

After the film was finished, Peli signed with the Creative Artists Agency. They screened the movie in 2007 at the Screamfest Horror Film Festival and, as a result, began to give away DVDs to anybody who would be willing to distribute it. It didn't see a spotlight until 2007 when Miramax Films Senior Executive Jason Blum and his producing partner, Steven Schneider, viewed the movie for themselves. Working with Blum, Peli edited the film down so that it ran tighter and smoother but more problems arose: Sundance Film Festival would not accept the film and even though the Slamdance Film Festival did, no distributor picked up the movie for major distribution.

In 2008, the DVD ended up at DreamWorks and was viewed by Production Executive Ashley Brooks. Brooks was so impressed by the movie that she "pestered" her boss, Production Chief Adam Goodman, every day to see the film until he eventually saw it. Goodman, in turn, brought it to his boss, Studio Chief Stacey Snider. They were impressed by the film as well and handed the DVD to Steven Spielberg, who took it home to watch.

In a strange twist, Spielberg allegedly returned to DreamWorks the next day with the DVD in a "garbage bag" because he thought the DVD was "haunted". According to Spielberg, minutes after he viewed the film, his bedroom doors "locked by themselves" and he couldn't get out without calling in a locksmith.[8][9] Despite this, Spielberg loved the movie and helped to greenlight a remake to be produced by Jason Blum and directed by Oren Peli again. "They didn't know what to do with [the movie]," Blum stated about the remake, adding that they just wanted to be "in business" with Peli.

The original deal for the movie stipulated that Oren Peli would direct and that the DVD would have the original film included with it so the public would get an idea of what the original film was about. However, during contract negotiations, Blum and Peli negotiated a one-time screening into the contract to see how a real audience would react to the original film. As part of the deal, Adam Goodman invited several screenwriters to the screening so that they could get an idea about what to write and see what should be added and subtracted to the remake's script.

During the screening, viewers began to walk out of the theater. Goodman was afraid that he made the wrong decision and that the screening was a bomb until he learned (in a twist reminiscent of the famous screening of 1979's Alien) that the viewers were actually truly frightened by the film. It was at this point that Goodman canned all thoughts of a Hollywood remake and decided to release Peli's version of the film.[8]
The film was supposed to be released in 2008 but was delayed further because of the rift between DreamWorks and Paramount Pictures. While the movie was stuck in limbo, Oren Peli and Jason Blum screened the film for international buyers at a theater in Santa Monica along with a sold-out crowd mostly of teenagers. This further cemented the film's reputation and Peli and Blum sold the international rights to 52 different countries.

The buzz generated by this and the positive word-of-mouth finally pushed Adam Goodman (who took over as Paramount's main exec) to release the film on the fall schedule.

I read a lot of reviews touting how downright scary the movie is. I unfortunately didn't find that to be the case, but it was a really funny film with some effective creep-out scenes. The conceit of the film (that we're just watching discovered amateur video; in this case a normal South Californian couple, one of whom happens to have a lifelong demonic tormentor) isn't new. The Blair Witch Project most famously utilized this gimmick to stellar results (nearly $250 million worldwide plus ancillary sales). Now a lot of people have come to view that film in a negative light. I for one was genuinely freaked the hell out by that movie. (I used to deliver papers and my route took me through the backwoods of Ann Arbor; good times.) I think that the backlash in that case was due to people exclaiming how "$#!t your pants"-scary TBWP was. So, I can understand people's reaction once they actually saw it. It can be a bit of a letdown if you're expecting the next The Exorcist. So I'll just say this movie has some good scares in it, but it's really just thoroughly entertaining.

The acting never takes you out of the film. You might call it amateurish, but it honestly just felt like two normal people dealing with a rapidly deteriorating situation. The screenplay only strikes a couple of false notes (I didn't really buy the reason they keep staying in the house), but I love the slow burn it employs. The one scene that keeps getting repeated numerous times (the fixed-angle shot of the couple sleeping) becomes more and more intense as the "paranormal activity" continues to build. The film knows how to work an audience. It also relies on the one truth that any horror-master worth his salt knows: the human mind will conjure things far scarier than anything you can actually show.

The real joy of this film comes in watching it with a crowd (one highly saturated with teenage girls would be optimal). I usually don't like unsolicited crowd participation, but in this case a good crowd really heightens the effect. I can honestly say I've never seen a crowd react so viscerally to on-screen proceedings. People were screaming, yelling at the screen and literally jumping out of their seats. It turned out to be contagious. Even though I wasn't really frightened, I did get the jumpsies.

So go to a midnight screening and for once embrace the teenagers. I knew they would come in handy some day.

"It kind of looks like Godzilla without fur."

That beautiful quote comes from a co-worker of mine describing the Cloverfield monster a couple of days before I got to see the movie. Having seen it now, I guess that is as apt a description as any. I remember seeing the trailer for Cloverfield during a screening of Transformers this past summer. I turned to my friend Matt and said, "That is one of the best trailers I've ever seen." It showed you just enough to make a genre-whore salivate. Flash-forward six months and I'm hearing that the movie doesn't live up to the hype. I felt a bit disappointed since very few things are capable of living up to the onerous hype these deft modern marketing campaigns generate. "Oh well," I thought, "I'll still see it anyways." Lucky for me that I did.

Cloverfield delivers the goods as advertised.

It's not Godzilla-meets-Blair Witch. First of all, Blair Witch works completely as a total mind-f@!k. Your imagination generates every scare in that picture. I still think it stands as one of the most innovative pieces of horror I've ever seen. While Cloverfield (for the most part) keeps reveal-shots fleeting, it still shows you something. Still, the film doesn't really linger on the monster for any significant amount of time until the end. The camerawork takes a minute to acclimate to, but it does manage to amp up the tension. You feel like what you're watching could actually be happening. And anyone familiar with Manhattan will love all the little touches of authenticity (it's a blast trying to figure out exactly what neighborhood the protagonists are in during any given scene). I wanted to personally congratulate the filmmakers for making the movie on a budget of only $25 million. I can't wait to check out the DVD and find out how they did it.

The film is a brisk hour and change. I couldn't complain about the length, because it told its story efficiently and I was entertained every step of the way. The characters while not memorable are certainly believable and the actors never detract from what's happening on screen. The whole production just feels well executed. Even though you only produced it, this effort almost makes up for Mission Impossible 3, Mr. Abrams. Almost.

Apparently producer J.J. Abrams (Lost and Alias) got the idea to do this movie after a trip to Japan. He wondered why we didn't have an iconic mutant monster of our own in the States (King Kong is too cute for his tastes). So he dreamt up Cloverfield. Whether or not the unnamed beast in the flick will ever attain such status will be up to audiences. Either way, the film is a welcome addition to the club.

Like an episode of The Twilight Zone gone horribly awry...

Most problematic ending for a movie since Alien 3 (which I'm counting as the epilogue to Aliens--despite fan protestations (my own included), Alien 3 still remains part of the canon). Thomas Jane deserves better. I like irony as much as the next guy, but that was just overkill. I was willing to forgive the implausible behavior of some of the characters, but the ending just...*sigh* If you've no plans to see the movie then by all means: (inviso-text spoiler below!!!)

So having escaped from the grocery store which had become like a miniature Jonestown, our hero and four other escapees including his young son make their getaway in his Landcruiser. They drive as far as the gas in the tank will take them, only to find the mist extends seemingly forever. The SUV runs out of gas and the hero decides they should all just commit suicide. They all agree and he takes a revolver and shoots them, including his 8-year old son. He only has four bullets so he decides to step out into the mist and have the monsters kill him. He gets out of the car and beckons them to come end his misery, except they don't, because the cavalry arrives literally in the form of the military and dissipates the mist and exterminates the creatures. This happens literally seconds after he gets out of the car. Thomas Jane sees the army and screams in so much existential agony. Boo!

Too clever by half, Mr. Darabont.

Movie Picks of the Week

Hot Fuzz – Danny Butterman: "Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?' "
So goes the line that sets up one of the funniest scenes I’ve seen in years. Hot Fuzz comes from the guys who did Shaun of the Dead (a movie I only saw parts of, but heard good things about).

These are guys who I would love to sit down to dinner with and just talk about movies because clearly their minds are as gunked-up with celluloid as mine. This movie reminded me a lot of Talladega Nights in the way it manages to almost lovingly skewer its target, in this case the buddy-cop genre which gave us classics like Beverly Hills Cop and regurgitated tripe like Rush Hour (or “-2”, or “-3”).

They respect the genre which is what allows them to mock it so effectively. You’ve got everything ranging from a very well telegraphed Point Break reference that had me in tears to toss away references of movies like Chinatown. Clever chaps. British humor doesn’t seem to translate too well in the States which is a shame because I feel as if you’ve not completely experienced comedy if you’ve never watched one Monty Python film or at least seen an episode of Mr. Bean. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have impeccable comedic timing and play off each other exceptionally well. I look forward to whatever they have next on tap.


28 Weeks Later

28 Days Later was an imaginative take on the zombie-genre where instead of the living dead, we were given people infected with “rage.” (You know what just occurred to me though? The whole “rage”-virus was stolen from the Transformers cartoon. Specifically this episode. Man I’ve seen too much crap. What have I done with my life?) Anyway, it was the first time (as far as I know) that you had “zombies” running like track stars trying to take down anything in sight.

It was truly intense, especially the early scenes where we have the protagonist Cillian Murphy wondering around a seemingly abandoned London. The tension is ratcheted up to the point of being unbearable. I loved every minute. I’ve watched Boyle’s films since Shallow Grave which introduced me to Ewan McGregor who would go on to make Trainspotting with Boyle a couple of years later.

After a tidy return at the box office and decent DVD sales, four years later we have the sequel which returns none of the original cast and Boyle overseeing only as executive producer. The movie starts off well enough with a man making an obvious, but tough choice (c’mon does she really leave him a choice?). But instead of really exploring the consequences of his decision, we get your standard “let’s do everything that doesn’t make sense to progress the plot.” Now this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Many an entertaining film has come from watching people make god-awful decisions (Friday the 13th series, Aliens, Poltergeist—should have just left the little girl in the TV—as Eddie Murphy said, she was only five and they couldn’t have been that attached to her). In this case, I just got a bit frustrated as to how stupid everybody was being. Also, it felt too much like a retread of the previous film which was a bit lame since they had such great ideas to start this one off.

On the bright side, the film does have a decent amount of scares in it and although I’d seen it all before, it was done competently (except for the awful ‘chaos-cam’ whenever up-close ‘rage’-attacks happened). I can’t really recommend this one as a $10 expenditure, but if it’s on cable I wouldn’t make you change the channel. Until that happens, go rent 28 Days Later!